Losing Control Page 67


It had been a hard session. Elliot didn’t pull any punches, that was for sure. Neither did Ben’s depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Elliot said it was normal for people’s minds to block out certain things like Ben’s had done. There were more memories that were uncovered, which confirmed what Ben knew to be true of his father and what he had done to Bonnie. He never figured out if his mother knew but Ben cut off contact regardless. It was better for him that way.

As best as they could figure it out, Ben had flashes of the memory when he’d caught his dad with the woman at the hotel. It’s what started Ben using sex to work through things. His mind had been trying to tell him something all along. He just didn’t know what it was. Then Javier had been another trigger—seeing him murdered, and the blood, made him focus on Bonnie again.

He was getting better.

He still had a long way to go.

“How’s it going today, Mr. Ben?” The doorman asked when he got to his apartment. “I think they have a letter for you inside.”

“Thanks,” Ben replied. He grabbed his mail and then went up to his floor.

Once inside his apartment, he looked at the return address. His apartment in New York. The name was Bridget Peters. Her name even started with a “B” like Ben’s and Bonnie’s.

She’d run away from home and abusive parents. She was eighteen now, and Ben was going to put her through school. She had to get her GED first, but she would. She’d saved his life that night—first yelling that the cops were coming to scare off the men who beat him, then by calling for help and staying with him until they came.

This came for you. Figured you’d want it. Thanks for everything.

B

He smiled. It had taken a lot for him to get Bridget to trust him but she was coming around.

Ben pulled out the paper in the envelope only to realize that it was another envelope. He didn’t recognize the return address on this one but the name he did.

Dante De Marco

They hadn’t spoken since the night Ben left Dante’s apartment. Tristan had delivered the letter, and Dante had left. Part of Ben regretted it. He’d missed him, wanted him so much but it had been needed.

Ben,

I hope this letter finds you well. You were right in what you did. I hope you know that. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I do. But you were right.

I’m spending some time in Italy, visiting my family. It’s been a struggle, more on my part than theirs. They’d been looking for me for years. If I hadn’t been so stubborn, maybe I would have found my way back to them sooner.

They apologized. They accepted me, and I forgave them the way you said I would.

I haven’t been back to New York. Too many memories. I probably should have left a long time ago but then if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.

I’m working through it...through Abel. I wanted you to know that. I’m working through it, and when I do, I’m coming for you. Not because of my past, and not because of Abel. I’m coming for you. It’s you that I want.

Dante

Ben couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. He couldn’t wait.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Seven weeks later...

Ben and Dante wrote each other every couple days. They switched from regular mail to email, which made things much easier.

They didn’t talk about anything important, not really. He learned that Dante was a baseball fan. He was the oldest of six children, had broken his arm twice, and that he liked cheesy horror flicks.

Ben learned that he himself liked reading crime novels, he enjoyed Josiah’s cooking when he went to Tristan’s, and that he was starting to think of Bridget as a kind of daughter. He shared all of those things and more with Dante, so he guessed they did talk about important things after all. They were getting to know each other on a different level. Getting to know the parts of each other that weren’t what made them bond in the beginning because, while those tragedies were a part of them, they weren’t the only part.

It was good to get to know more than the things which had brought them both to such dark places, even if it was in the darkness that they found each other.

Ben was ready for more.

It was that, that made Ben open up his email and send a message with only four words.

Come and get me.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

Three days later there was a knock at Ben’s door. He knew who it was.

He opened the door to see the man who he’d known for such a short time but who meant so much to him.

“You put my name on the list so they could send me up.”