“He’s a mess, Pay. At least he was the last time I saw him. Me and Chet called it quits,” she said sadly.

I pulled her into a hug.

“Oh my God, Megan, I’m so sorry. I’ve been an awful friend, but I’ve just had so much going on.”

I felt horrible for not being there for her, but with everything that happened, I barely had time to think about myself, much less anyone else.

“Girl, please.” She swatted at me and rolled her eyes. “With everything you’ve had going on; the last thing you needed to worry about was my stupid love affairs.”

We cried when it was time for me to leave and we promised to stay in touch through phone calls and texts. She even promised to come down to Florida for a week or two during the summer.

An hour later, I was on the road and on my way to my new life. Florida wasn’t much different from South Carolina. It was hotter and the houses were flatter, but not much different.

My sister ran into my arms when I got out of my car. I’d never been happier to see her sweet face. My life was wreck and she was the only person I really had left. My aunt welcomed me with open arms and I promised to start a job or school as soon as I got settled.

It was exactly two days later that I started missing Zeke like crazy. The effects of my mother’s death and the drama were starting to wear off and I was realizing I needed him more than I thought. I missed his voice, his smile, everything about him, and being so far away from him only made it worse.

I got up the nerve to call his cell, but it was disconnected. I thought that was strange and I was starting to freak out a bit. What had I done? Yes, I was in the middle of distraught moment, but I pushed away the only man I’d ever loved, a man who was willing to serve life in prison for me.

Suddenly, what my mother did made sense. I could see it from her point of view. Why let your daughter or the man your daughter loved serve jail time over something that was well deserved? She knew her time was coming to end and she knew we had long lives ahead of us.

I called Megan in a panic.

“Hey, Pay!” she sang into the phone.

“I’m trying to contact Zeke, but his phone’s been disconnected. Do you know how I can reach him? Maybe you could call Chet and get his new number?”

She was silent on the other end and I heard her take a deep breath. Every bad thought I could think of ran through my mind. What if something happened to him? I couldn’t handle losing another person that I loved. I wanted Zeke and I wanted him here in Florida with me.

“Pay, I don’t know how to tell you this, but literally the day after you left the big news was that Blow Hole got picked up by a label out of California.”

I felt happiness fill me. Zeke was probably ecstatic and I hated I wasn’t there to celebrate this milestone with him.

“That’s great, Megan! I bet they’re happy. Why would you be afraid to tell me that?”

Again, she was silent on the other end.

“Well, because he’s gone, Pay, all of them are. They hauled ass to California.”

The floor shifted beneath my feet. Zeke was thousands of miles away instead of hundreds, and his loss was sinking in and leaving me in a state of distress.

I didn’t even remember hanging up with Megan. Zeke was gone, off living his dream, and I’d probably never hear from him again. The only real connection he had in South Carolina was his father and they didn’t even talk anymore. I had no way of getting a message to him. He ran away to California thinking I hated him. He was there surrounded by bleach-blonde California bimbos and knowing him, he was probably taking out his heartache and anger on one of them in the form of rough sex at that very moment.

The weeks flew by from that point on. I lived my life in a never-ending state of depression. My sister and aunt commented on my behavior, but I couldn’t help it. He was gone and I couldn’t find a way to reach him.

I got a shitty job at a restaurant close to my aunt’s house and since school was out, Sydney spent most of her time with Aunt Sarah at the beach. Every day was the same. Wake up, go to work, come home, sleep, but no matter what I was doing, I thought about Zeke.

Between the depression and not playing sports anymore, I gained five pounds and my jeans started to get snug. I’m sure it had more to do with the ice cream I used to soothe my pain, but at least it was better than drugs and alcohol.

My high school diploma was forwarded to me a few days after that and I was happy to have it, but I was thinking college would definitely have to wait. I didn’t want to think about school or sports. I just wanted to wallow in my crappy life.