As boring as your life may or may not be, if you ever need to vent with someone, I’m here. I’ll keep my judging to a minimum.

I have one niece. I’m not married, but I do have a boyfriend. The whole having-kids thing is a dream for some time in the future, but I’m not rushing or anything. I want to have four. Are you married?

What do I do for a living? I’m a seamstress. My aunt is a manager at a dry cleaning place, and I get a lot of alteration work from her. (A LOT.) I have another aunt who owns her own bridal shop, and I help her out there, too. I’ve done wedding dresses, sweet sixteen and quincea?era dresses… If anything needs to be sewn and made, I can and have done it more than likely. I do freelance work too, costumes and things like that, but that isn’t steady. Apart from two days a week where my aunt with the bridal shop asks me to come in to help out, I can work any time I want. It’s nice, but I don’t sleep much.

How long have you been in the military?

Best wishes,

Ruby

Chapter 5

October

From: [email protected]

Date: October 1, 2008 4:17 a.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: Tick Licks?

Ruby,

Half mast… sausage and eggs…. I scared half the room from how hard I laughed. I can’t remember the last time that happened. All serious, “Smith” can get into a lot of trouble for sending you things like that. What’s his name? I don’t know what to say to you regarding your no-no parts. Just going to let that one go. :]

I’m game to guess what happened to Mardi Gras. Did someone throw up on you at the parade?

I did a search on your movie before I replied just now. It says the film almost went bankrupt. Now I’m guessing you liked the costumes in the other movies you’ve watched a thousand times too?

You took WoW to a whole new level. You led your own guild? No wonder you almost failed. Did you go days without showering? One of the guys I went to AIT with… advanced individual training after boot camp… used to be really into it. When we talked about it, his eyes glazed over. I stopped bringing it up. I know who Smeagol is. I’ve seen LoTR. You can give me some credit. I don’t only watch 80s movies.

Your sister is trying to qualify for the Olympics? Wow. I’ll be honest, I’ve never watched any figure skating in my life, but everybody knows you can’t get to the Olympics unless you’re the best at something.

Is Veronica Mars the reason your e-mail is RubyMars?

My sister is 25 now and my brother is 31. They both still live in Shreveport. Your parents are divorced?

I told you most of the people who sign up for HaS have families. I assumed you’d be closer to 30, I guess. I’m 28.

You don’t hear that very often any more (women wanting to have kids). Whatever makes you happy. I’m not married either. Do you live with your boyfriend?

I don’t want to come off as an asshole, but that’s your job? Sewing?

I’ve been in the army for almost eleven years. Time has gone so fast… You said your brother was a marine in one of your e-mails. How long was he in for? Where had he been deployed or on tour?

Hope to hear from you soon.

-A

From: [email protected]

Date: October 3, 2008 5:05 a.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: Tick Licks for Sure

Aaron,

I appreciate the concern, but don’t worry about it. I’m sure my “Eww. What’s that?” comment did enough to traumatize him for a while. :) Plus, the HaS people kicked him out of the program, or at least that’s what they told me. I thought about looking him up on Myspace a few months ago but decided against it. I’ve seen enough of him for a couple of lifetimes.

Yes, someone did throw up on me at the parade, but that was just my best friend and it was only my shoes that got yacked on. Continue with your guesses.

Is the shower question a trick question? Since we’re [pen] pals, I’ll tell you the truth: yes. The longest I went was five days without a shower when I was really into WoW. My sister paid me fifty dollars to put the whole family out of their misery and bathe.

The costumes are exactly why I like all those movies. The wardrobe, visual effects, makeup… it’s pretty amazing when you think about it. If you can’t tell, I do. :)

Did you read the LoTR books or only watch the movies? I’m not judging, just asking. You will get bonus points if you read the books.

I doubt you have time to browse the web, but you can look up my sister’s videos. Her name is Jasmine. Same last name.

Ding, ding, ding on the Veronica Mars connection. I have a grown-up e-mail too for work-related purposes. This is my fun/spam e-mail.

That’s nice your siblings live in the same city. Does your dad still live there? All of us still live in Houston, too. Yes, my parents are divorced. They have been since I was 8, but they were separated for a year before that.