My heart pounds as I stand at the front door and take him in.

He hasn’t seen me yet.

He leans against one of the columns, hands in his pockets, head down. His boot is on, but it looks easier on him, as if he’s used to it. There are shadows under his eyes, and I figure they match mine.

“Thought you’d still be at the Combine,” I say as I step out onto the porch.

His head rises, blue eyes glittering as he takes me in, drifting over my hair and red lipstick. I take the perusal, glad I’m in skinny jeans, a fitted black shirt, and heels.

He can’t seem to find his voice. After a long moment, he finally does. “Charm, you’re so beautiful. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” He rakes a hand through his hair and shakes himself. “Uh, the Combine ended earlier today.”

“Shouldn’t you be on your way back to Waylon?”

“All I wanted was to see you.”

I keep a few feet between us as I move in closer. “How did you get my address?”

“Penelope gave it up. Had to beg for it.”

I run my eyes over the boot. “How was Indianapolis?”

He looks away from me, taking in the shrubbery in the front, the ones Ma planted years ago. She takes special care with them and it shows.

“You’re the only one I wanted to tell, Charm. I ran and kicked ass. I took this stupid boot off and just took a chance.”

Paulie and Mattie appear at the door and step outside. “Just checking in,” Mattie says as he comes out and stands next to me.

Blaze straightens his stance and runs his eyes over them, trying to get a read on them, I assume.

I point them out in turn. “Blaze, meet my brothers. This one’s Paul. He married the nice girl down the street, had two babies, and helps Pop. He’s the favorite, but don’t tell Ma we know.”

Paulie grins, the expression an exact replica of our father’s. “Smartass.”

I nod my head at Mattie. “This one’s Matthew. He loves to give me a hard time about everything. He still lives at home and hates it,” I add with a smirk.

“Looked you up online, Townsend,” Mattie says. “Not bad. You look good, though if you don’t play baseball, you’re shit out of luck. We’re Yankees fans.”

Blaze huffs out a laugh. “I’m actually pretty good at baseball. Could have gotten a scholarship for it if I’d wanted to.”

“Of course you could have,” I murmur as they shake hands, my brothers and the man I love so much I’m finding it hard to breathe.

“What’s going on out here?” It’s Ma.

She walks out and frowns, her eyes running over Blaze, taking in the carefully pressed blue button-up shirt he’s got rolled up to his elbows, the long legs and the boot.

He nods his head at her. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Rossi.”

She stills at his voice, and I wonder if she hears that darkness inside the gold, the deep tone that resonates and wraps around your heart.

She murmurs a nice to meet you and just stares at us. I don’t know what she sees, maybe that I feel faint or that Blaze looks just as bad, his skin pale in the soft light from the porch.

Pop comes out next. A handsome man with laughing brown eyes like mine, he is surprisingly somber. He doesn’t look at anyone but Blaze.

“Heard you were the boyfriend. About time you got here. Frank Rossi.” He takes Blaze’s hand, and if the wince on Blaze’s face is anything to go by, he squeezes pretty hard.

“Yes, sir. Finished the Combine and took the first flight out from Indianapolis to get here. Glad to meet you. I apologize if I interrupted dinner.” His face is carefully shuttered, but those eyes, they’re bright and emotional and—

Joey P is next, sticking his head out the door with a questioning look on his face. “Who’s this?”

Ma never takes her eyes off Blaze. “Joey, be a dear and get the tiramisu out of the fridge then help Susan get the dessert plates out?” Her tone brooks no argument, and he hops to it, shrugging and going back in the house.

They make small talk with Blaze, asking questions about his flight, but all I can do is stare. Inside I’m flailing around like a chicken with its head cut off. He’s here—why?

He looks at them when they speak, but he always comes back to me, that hesitant, searching look on his face.

Pop gives me a look as if to ask what’s going on, but I’m not sure what he wants me to say. He huffs out a laugh and focuses back on Blaze. “Looks like Charm’s lost the ability to speak. Would you like to come in?”

Ma steps forward. “No, not yet, dear. Maybe they need some time alone out here. We’re good people, but we can be a lot to take in.” She gives Blaze a small pat on the arm. “And you’re not a hillbilly. Sorry I said that to Charm.” She corrals everyone back inside.

There’s a small smile on Blaze’s face and he softly says, “I like her.”

“You’ll regret it later. She’ll be planning your life for you, arranging dates, pushing you to go to Mass, and guilt-tripping you into calling her every day.”

“Ah, well, I never had that, so maybe I wouldn’t mind so much.”

My eyes close briefly, and I open them to see he’s moved closer. We’re almost chest to chest. Just one little step and I could put my arms around his neck, reach up, and kiss him. “Why are you here, Blaze? You didn’t come all this way just to tell me about the Combine, although I am happy for you.”

“I’m never going to let you out of my sight again, Charm.”

“Oh.”

A long sigh comes from him. His eyes burn, that emotion still brewing. He tilts my chin up and gives me a long look, his mind spinning, debating what to say judging by the conflict in his gaze. “There’s something I need to say. Emotional words are hard for me. Never got them growing up, and I learned to not think about them. Then I found football and did what I do best. Actions, applause—that’s what got me jacked up. Then you came along, a girl determined to keep me at arm’s length, when for the first time in my life, I wanted something besides football. I wanted to tell you that, but I shoved you away. Because no matter how many times I let myself think someone cares, there’s always this voice in the back of my head telling me I don’t get to have those things because people have always deserted me in some way. I’m not good at expressing myself. I know it, and I fight with it. That day in your room when I sang those songs to you, Charm…that’s me, telling you how I feel. When I can’t stop looking at you when you’re underneath me, that’s me telling you you’re the one. When I wrote those notes to you in class, that’s me saying more to you than I have ever said to anyone. It’s me when I see you on a date and I’m on a date and all I want to do is sing your song. I’m scared I won’t be worth your love. I’m scared of those big words because they mean so much to me. What if you leave me? What if I’m so fucked up that one day, you finally see it and walk away?”

He inhales a breath. “I love you. I do. I have for a long time—maybe since the moment you walked into my bedroom with that coat on and made me insane for you. I’m sorry I’ve been scared. I’m sorry I hesitate on the important things. It’s just…me.”

I close my eyes as tears slip down my face. He murmurs soothing words and wipes them away, and when I open look up again, there’s wetness on his cheeks.

His forehead rests against mine. “Can you see me, Charm? Can you see the man I really am underneath all this? Can you look at me and see that I can’t go on without you?”

I do. I see his love for me, right there, shining in his eyes.

I nod, and he holds my face with those big, careful hands. “I’m never going to betray you. My feelings for you…are beyond anything else. I’m not that man. I want a happy ending, Charm. That’s who I am. I’m the guy in Say Anything who begs the girl to take a chance. I’m here. I’m right here, and I don’t care about anything but you, even football, because if I don’t have you, I’m going to dig a hole so deep I’ll never crawl out of it.” He pauses, a pleading look in his gaze. “Will you ever be able to trust me?”

I got knocked on my ass when I walked into his dorm room and saw Dani, but I won’t again. I refuse to let my insecurities ruin what we have.

“Yes, please, yes. I want to do this with you. I do. I love you so much, and I let those thoughts get in my head and mess with me.” A long breath slips through my lips. “But just hearing you say everything out loud, it means something. It makes me feel like flying…” I shake my head, overcome with emotion.

“You’re mine for as long as you want me, Charm.” He kisses me, soft and slow, and I melt into his arms.

We’re still holding each other when Mattie pops his head out the door. “Ma says you two have to come in now so the neighbors don’t talk. She wants to get to know Blaze. She’s demanding a game of Monopoly. Sorry, sis.”

I laugh. “We’ll be up all night.” I look at Blaze. “These games get pretty heated, underhanded deals and such.”