I clench my jaw, admitting for the first time, “I don’t hate him, just the things he’s done.”

Her tears roll through her smile. “I know. I could tell.”

Tears fill my eyes despite myself. “I have to go.”

“Go.”

Bass is there gripping my arm, but I hold my feet firm. “I’m sorry,” I rush out. “I’m sorry Felix didn’t love you enough.”

“I’m not.”

“Bishop, fucking now!” Alec and Gio both rush for us.

“Everything happens for a reason, and I think the reason was you. This town needs you. I was simply a casualty in the war that had to happen.”

“I can protect you.”

“Go, Raven.”

The boys lift me off the floor, and I kick against them.

“Grab her, make her leave!” I shout.

“We can’t force her,” Gio says quietly.

A thought hits me and I scream. “Wait! Wait!” I kick as hard as I can, jerking my elbows around. It’s enough to get them to pause a second. “You said the woman’s sonogram, she was pregnant. Are you saying Donley has a daughter?”

Her eyes jerk to mine, a desolate smile on her lips. “I’m saying he has two.”

I turn in my seat, my eyes traveling from one end of the Graven Estate to the other. The flames shoot straight up the walls in perfect sync with the ones surrounding it. The pool house is already gone, the stables too, but the house is still standing, but not for long.

I jerk when simultaneously, every window in sight blows, the fire rolling over into the second and third story of the mansion.

The Graven Estate is incinerated, and Estella Graven goes with it.

I spin in my seat, facing forward.

Collins will need to be told of her decision, but not today.

I close my eyes, not opening them until we reach the hospital. I blindly climb from the car and silently, the three of us, plus Gio step into the elevator. I don’t speak to anyone, only hug Royce when he flies from his seat and meets me in the entryway.

He holds me tight, breathing me in. “You’re back. Thank fuck.”

I lean closer, squeezing his biceps, and his arms around me tighten even more. “He woke up, asked about Zoey. He remembered talking to the doc, so that was good.”

“How long was he awake?”

“’Bout an hour,” he tells me, excitedly. “We didn’t get to talk ‘cause the nurse came in and did her nurse thing, but he did have a couple crackers, some water, and then went right back under.”

I nod, a deep exhale leaving me and Royce steps back. “Longer and longer every time, that’s good.”

He gives a small smile, gently pushing me toward Cap.

I ignore Rolland’s presence and make my way to Captain’s bedside, dropping in the seat beside him.

Gio, Bass, and Victoria quietly step inside a few minutes later, each finding a chair around the room.

We sit there without a word, without a damn sound other than the steady beeping of the machines. The nurse comes in twice, but still, no one speaks.

Eventually the sun rises, and when the nurse comes back for her morning round, the others finally drag themselves to their feet. They stretch where they stand and instantly, the weight of every eye lands on me but I don’t look.

I have no strength, no drive.

I feel sick to my stomach, but I don’t show it. My head is pounding, but I ignore it. My world fucked, my mind mush, my thoughts muddled.

I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do. The right move versus the wrong.

My eyes lift to Captain again.

I did this.

I got him shot, I drove Maddoc away, I left Royce feeling abandoned.

I killed my mother, and inadvertently Collins’, too.

Donley will come after us now, for answers if not for more. He—

“Stop it,” is whispered in my ear and my head snaps left.

Victoria stares up at me, distress in her brown eyes. “This isn’t your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” I say back, not bothering to whisper. “She was my mother, she showed up because of me, left because of me, hated this world because of me. I did this. My existence brought all this on. I never should have made it out of the womb. Go, Vee. Get some sleep.”

Her eyes narrow. “You need sleep, and you need to eat.”

“Why should I eat when he doesn’t get to?”

“Because he’d want you to. And he’d be angry if he knew you hadn’t. They all would.”

I shake my head looking away, but she grips my chin forcing it back.

I glare at her.

“I’m getting you something, and you’re eating it. If you don’t, I’ll make sure they tie your ass down, shove a feeding tube down your throat and make you.”

I can’t help it, a small scoffed laugh leaves me, but my stupid eyes fill with moisture. I clench my jaw, nodding.

Her shoulders visibly fall with her sigh and she rushes from the room.

“Mrs. Brayshaw.”

I look over my shoulder to find Fernando at the door.

Royce hops to his feet, moving toward him, but he keeps his eyes on me.

“Ms. Maybell is downstairs. She’s staring up at the window.”

I look to Royce right as his head snaps to mine. He gives a small nod, so I say, “Let her up.”

I never should have made it out of the womb, I said.

Females were no good to him.

Holy shit.

I jolt from my chair, my eyes flying to Royce before I storm out to find the nurse.

“Carmen!” I shout right before she disappears behind a door.

Her worried eyes hit mine and she rushes my way but keeps moving past. “What happened?”

“No, wait!”

She spins on her heels, frowning at me.

“He’s fine.” I shake my head, thinking better of my words. “Or nothing has changed. This is about something else.”

The woman’s brows pull in and she steps closer to me. “What is it?”

“Blood,” I say, and she tilts her head. “When someone donates blood, it has to be clean, right?”

“Clean?”

“No diseases, no drugs. Clean.”

She nods. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Do you test the blood or take the person’s word for it?”

“Everything is tested before being marked clear for transfusion.” The edges of her eyes tighten. “I can promise you the blood used for Captain was squeaky clean.”

“What about mine?”

Her head draws back.

“Raven...” Royce draws out slowly, but I ignore him.

“The blood you have in stock for me, the blood delivered by Estella Graven. Was it tested yet and found clean?”

“Of course. It was tested the day it arrived. Things may be run a little unorthodox in this wing, but I promise you we still practice good medicine.”

“So there were no drugs found in the blood given to you for me?”

“None.”

My shoulders fall and I stumble back slightly until my ass hits the wall. I use it to hold me up, tipping my head back for a deep breath when nausea fights its way in, but it’s no use.

I gag but swallow it down, only to gag again.