I slap my hand over my mouth and dash for the bathroom, just barely making it to the garbage in there before I can no longer hold it.

My stomach, already empty, releases more. Yellow and green acids fight their way out, and I dry heave, coughing and gagging every few seconds.

Once it stops for even a moment, I shift toward the sink and splash water on my face, before dropping my ass to the tile floor. I rest my head in my hands.

In the same second, the door slowly swings open, a water set in front of me.

I shake my head not bothering to look. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”

“Yes, child.”

“Rolland said he didn’t know. Did he lie?”

When she doesn’t respond, I drop my hands, my head falling back against the wall.

“Did he know?” I say louder this time.

Maybell shakes her head solemnly. “No, he hadn’t a clue.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? You could have protected this family. You should have protected this family. You could have prevented all of this!” I shout.

With a solemn expression, she lowers herself beside me. She reaches for my hand, but I draw away. It doesn’t deter her, she moves in again, capturing my fingers. “Don’t you see, baby girl,” she whispers, shifting even closer. “That’s what I’ve been doing all along.”

I eye her, not understanding.

“This family, the Brayshaw family. Your mother. You.”

When my brows pull in, she gives a slight nod.

“I was brought here, for her,” she tells me. “I raised your mother from the cradle to the contract, like I helped raise Rolland and his brother. I begged Ravina’s grandfather, your great grandfather, not to offer her like a prize, but I was only the nanny then. I had no voice, but I never left her. When she started staying at the Graven Estate, so did I. I watched her fall in love with Felix, then I watched her heart grow for his brother.

“I spent every moment with her in sight, other than when she was at school. When she was with both Felix and Conner, I was only yards away. Always near. Except the night things changed.”

My eyes slide between hers, but she looks to the water bottle sternly, so I lift it and take a few small drinks. Instantly, the cool liquid leaves a trail of freshness through my body. It swirls in my empty stomach, settling and upsetting it all at once.

“Donley had asked me to escort a young woman from the grounds, he’d fired her.”

“Let me guess, a maid.”

Maybell grows curious, but she nods. “Yes, a maid. A pregnant maid who he’d just fired. He told me to take her to the edge of town and discard her there with the money he allowed her to take and the clothes on her back.” She frowns. “I took her to Rolland instead.”

“Why?”

“Rolland is a good man, Raven, even at eighteen years of age. He was just starting to take on more responsibilities. Your grandfather trusted him to make decisions on his own, and with good reason. I had no doubt he would do what was right.”

I glance away, unsure if I’d agree or not.

Maybell pulls a small, wrapped cookie from her pocket and tears it open. She holds it out for me, eyes intently keeping mine.

“Seriously?”

She only pushes it closer.

With jerky movements, I reach forward, break a small piece off and stick it in my mouth. After I chew it up and swallow, I stick my tongue out to be an asshole.

A hint of a smile covers Maybell’s lips. “When I went back to the Graven Estate, I found your mother on the floor of the shower. She was curled in a small ball, crying. She kept saying she’d betrayed him, she betrayed him, and at first, I thought she meant Felix. Maybe she was with Connor and the guilt ate her up after, but then Conner all but disappeared from her world. Things shifted that night, her and Felix grew even closer, and four months later your mother was gone, but she left something behind, hidden somewhere only I’d ever find.” She tugs a coin purse from her bag and unzips it. She reaches in, pulling out a small, crinkled paper folded into a perfect square.

She hands it over.

Cautiously, I open it – a sonogram photo, the words “it’s a girl” typed along the blackened edges of the printout.

What gets me though is the purple heart encircling the fuzzy image, handwritten and outlined, the words “my baby girl” scribbled beneath it.

She loved me, if even only for a moment.

It happens quicker than I can stop it, a long-broken gasp followed by a full body shudder. Tears pour from my eyes as I fall apart on the bathroom floor.

The door bursts open and Royce rushes in.

“Fuck,” he croaks. He drops beside me, tugging me onto his lap, instantly rocking me back and forth in his arms. The louder I get, the more they tighten. His lips find my hair, his hand brushing against it over and over again, whispering, “It’s okay, RaeRae. Everything will be good.”

But will it?

I was a little girl no one wanted. A little girl that forced another one from her home. From the only place she ever knew and into a world of poverty and drugs, prostitution.

My mother’s body was used, then decided her body was all she was worth and let people pay her to use it.

She came here to save me, in her own fucked up way, and I killed her for it.

I took her life, and then I took her life.

I don’t know how long we sit on the floor of the bathroom before Royce whispers, “You need to escape? I can send someone for your iPod, some weed, anything.”

My heart clenches, his crestfallen eyes flashing before mine.

“It’s gone,” I whisper, pieces of me I didn’t know existed splitting beneath the skin. “He took it.”

Royce tenses against me, then slowly draws back to meet my stare. “What?”

“Maddoc, he took it.”

Royce’s face morphs and he gently shifts back a few inches to see me better. “Maddoc has your iPod?”

I nod.

He sets me on the floor as he climbs to his feet, then pulls me up. He grips my face between his hands. “Come on, RaeRae. You need to sleep.”

I don’t fight him but let him pull me from the room and lead me into Captain’s.

“I’m gonna step outside the door and talk to Bass,” Royce tells me, glaring over at Bass before exiting the room.

I move closer to Captain, ignoring Rolland when his chair scuffs slightly across the floor and he exits, taking Victoria and Maybell with him.

Thankfully, Captain’s bed is wider than a standard hospital bed, so I only have to move a few wires to crawl in beside him.

I close my eyes.

Soft, slow hands run across my arm and my eyes peel open.

The room is dark, the sun gone, but the moon offers a hint of sight.

When the hand brushes once again, my head snaps up, and I gasp.

“Cap.”

“Hey,” Captain rasps.

“You’re awake.” I look into his tired eyes.

He nods. “Been for a while, didn’t wanna wake you though. Royce told me you haven’t been sleeping.” His eyes move between mine. “You okay?”

I can’t help it, I laugh, burying my face back into the crook of his arm again. “Ugh, am I okay?” My head pops back up.

Cap doesn’t grin though, instead growing more concerned.