My heart clenched for him. So much horror in his past. I didn’t know if I, if anything could ever compete with that, ever win against the shadows of his past.

“Humans aren’t meant to be alone. We need companionship It’s in our nature. We need to be touched. We need to talk to someone. To have someone to trust. Otherwise we become…”

“Like me,” Growl rasped. “I’m better off alone. I’m meant to be alone.”

I stared at his tattoos, the ridges of his scars, his hard eyes. “Perhaps you’re right.”

Even if I didn’t want to accept it, Growl might be one of the people who couldn’t be with others for long.

He pushed up again, and this time I didn’t try to stop him. My eyes followed the line of muscles from his broad shoulders down to his firm butt. My cheeks didn’t heat anymore, but the fire in the pit of my stomach ignited once more at the sight. I’d never felt anything like it before. I’d had crushes, had felt butterflies, but this was something else, something stronger and darker. I desired him, perhaps even…loved him. I couldn’t be sure. Not now, not when my life was in upheaval and my choices weren’t my own. Could love be born out of captivity? Wasn’t it something that could only thrive in freedom?

Growl didn’t turn again as he strode toward the door and left. The fire in my belly died as if someone had killed it with water. I pulled the blankets up to my chin. I’d never known that loneliness came with a sensation like icy dew covering my skin. Cold. I felt cold.

I felt tender between my legs from Growl, but the rest of me was nothing. This ache between my legs was all that reminded me of him. Soon, if…when our plan was successful and we were all safe, what would happen to me? To Growl and me? He struggled with emotions. Most of the time I wasn’t sure if he could even understand them. Perhaps for him they were what letters were to people with dyslexia. But couldn’t those people learn to live with their limitation, and learn to read and write despite it? So why couldn’t Growl learn emotions? He had already come a long way from when we first met. Perhaps emotions were foreign to him, like passion had been to me, but it didn’t always have to be like that. Growl had taught me passion, had given me no choice but to surrender myself to it. Was I foolish to hope I could teach him emotions as he’d taught me desire?

Perhaps you have already, a meek voice whispered in my head. Perhaps. And perhaps it wasn’t enough.

My eyes were drawn to the skyline of Las Vegas. He’d moved to this place for me. For whatever reason, he’d turned his life upside down for me. The next few weeks would tell. If our plan to get revenge went wrong, nothing mattered anymore. Least of all my emotions. Soon everything would be decided.

Growl

“Falcone won’t tell me where your sister is, and I think he’s growing suspicious of my interest. Negotiations with New York don’t seem to be going very well, which could mean that Falcone won’t need your mother’s help much longer, and then he’ll end it. We can’t wait for that to happen,” I said a few days later as I came back to the apartment after doing Falcone’s biding as I had all these years. Coco and Bandit welcomed me, wagging their tails wildly. I patted their heads but kept my eyes on Cara, who rose from the sofa where she had been reading.

She must have realized that if Falcone didn’t need her mother’s help anymore, he’d probably get rid of her, and Talia.

She wrapped her arms around her chest, blinking hard. “But what can we do if we don’t even know where my sister is? We can’t get revenge as long as she’s not safe.”

“I will get the information out of Falcone, don’t worry. We’ll kidnap him and I’ll make him talk. Once I know where your sister is, I will kill Falcone, and we’ll come to New York with your sister.” Falcone was a sadistic fucker, but he would yield under pain. They all did.

Cara took a few hesitant steps closer. “What about me and my mother?”

“You will leave right after I have Falcone in my hands. I don’t want you in town when I’m dealing with Falcone. We’ll all meet up in New York.”

She shook her head. “I won’t leave without my sister. What if something goes wrong and we can’t free her? I want to be there to make sure everything is okay.”

“You can’t help. You’ll only be a liability because I’ll have to keep an eye on you, too, and won’t be able to fight as freely as I usually would.”

“Do you think there will be fighting?”

I laughed humorlessly. There would be a bloodbath. “Falcone is never without bodyguards, and I suppose your sister will be guarded as well. I will have to kill anyone who gets in my way. We can’t let anyone survive. They might give something away. We can’t risk that.”

“So we’ll drive to Falcone’s house and kidnap him?”

“He usually meets with me once a week to give me new jobs. That’s the best day to attack. He will expect me, so he won’t grow suspicious. I’ll take him to a safe place, get the information we need and kill him. Then I’ll get your sister.”

She frowned deeply. “I told you I won’t drive ahead. I will stay as long as it takes for all of us to be safe and Falcone to be dead.”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t understand her. Why would she want to risk her life?

“And I need to talk to my mother. She needs to know what we’ve planned,” Cara said.

I shook my head. “No. She might give something away by accident. She doesn’t need to know.” I paused. “Cara, I really want you to drive ahead with your mother. You shouldn’t be in Las Vegas a minute longer than necessary.” I wanted to know she was safe, or as safe as she could ever be in this messed-up world.

“No!” she cried out. “I want to be there. I want revenge more than you do. Shouldn’t I be there when it happens?”

I bridged the remaining distance between us and touched her cheek, not even sure why I always yearned to touch her face. “Are you sure you want that? It’ll change you, believe me. Having blood on your hands changes everything.”

Her eyes were glassy as she looked up at me. “My life changed when Falcone killed my father; seeing Falcone die for his sin will only make things better.”

I considered her words. Could I keep her safe? I could. I would. I nodded. “Okay. But when things get dangerous, you’ll have to listen to my commands. If I tell you to run, you’ll run, and you won’t hesitate or argue. Understood?”

“Understood.” She moved closer to me, her pliable body pressed up against mine, and put her hand against my chest. “I can’t believe you’re really doing this.”

I couldn’t believe it either, but I had never been more sure about something in my life. I wanted, I needed to help the woman in front of me. “I promised. I will do this for you, and perhaps then you can forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” she whispered as if she’d never heard the word, and of course it was fucking ridiculous of me to think she could ever forgive me for what I’d done, for having kept her like a possession. I silenced her with a kiss, fucking scared of her next words, not wanting to hear them, and led her into the bedroom.