“Only if you promise you’re not going to do anything stupid,” Logan said.

One corner of my mouth hooked in a grin. “How long are we talking? Like for the rest of the day, or…”

He punched me in the arm.

I followed him to his truck, feeling calm, but still shitty. I didn’t know what I was going to do about Skylar. Had I fucked things up forever?

Or worse, did she not want me at all?

Maybe I’d been nothing but a diversion. Great for the orgasms, but not for anything serious. And the truth was, I couldn’t even blame her for that. It wasn’t like I’d ever given her a reason to get serious with me. I’d never given her a chance.

I’d never given us a chance. And maybe that had been my biggest mistake of all.

38

Skylar

I stared miserably into my mug, only dimly aware that it was empty. It had been a long twenty-four hours. Ever since Gavin had walked out yesterday, I’d been in a daze.

What the hell had happened?

Had he really come in here and randomly suggested we get married because the accident on the bridge had made him realize he didn’t want to lose me?

And had he seriously waited until he was walking out the door to mention being in love with me?

What the fuck was that about?

My words to Ginny came back to haunt me. It’s not messy now, and I’m certainly not going to let it get messy today. Gavin and I are fine.

So much for that. I didn’t know how it could get any messier.

Cupping my chin in my hand, I leaned my elbow on the table. I’d spent most of the last day in my room, trying to wrap my head around what had happened. Was it my fault that it had gone so badly? What else could I have done? We couldn’t get married. He was crazy.

Wasn’t he?

“Hi there, sweetheart.” Mom lacked her usual breeziness when she came into the kitchen. “How are you feeling?”

“A little sore, but I’m okay. How are you?”

The airbag had deployed, but fortunately it hadn’t hurt her too badly. She just had a little bruising on her chin.

“Still sore, but better than yesterday.” She poured herself some hot water and dunked a tea bag in her mug, then came over to the table to sit with me. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

I sighed. “Not really, but it’s not because of the bridge. Gavin came over yesterday and…”

“What happened?”

“He said we should get married.”

Mom’s lips parted and she hesitated for a second before replying. “He proposed?”

“He didn’t propose so much as say he thought we should get married because the accident made him realize he doesn’t want to lose me.”

“Wow. I didn’t know you two were so serious.”

“No, that’s the thing, we aren’t. We’re friends, but that’s all.”

She blew on her tea. “Well, that’s not all, honey.”

I hesitated for a moment. “There was… another dimension to our relationship.”

With a smile, she tucked my hair behind my ear. “We’re both adults, you don’t have to beat around the bush with me.”

“Fine, we’ve been sleeping together. But we were supposed to just be friends. And now he’s mad at me because I didn’t die of happiness at his non-proposal?”

“If he’s mad, it’s because you wounded his pride and he wasn’t ready for it.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him. But what was I supposed to say? It’s totally understandable that the accident freaked him out, and if he’d come in here and said it made him realize he wants more with me, I would have been ecstatic. I want more with him, too.”

Tears pricked my eyes. Oh my god, it was true. I really did want more with Gavin. And I might have ruined it.

She put her hand on my arm. “Give him a little time. He’ll calm down and you two can figure out where you ought to be.”

“Thanks, Mom. By the way, where’s Dad?”

“I don’t know.” She glanced away.

“You slept in your own bed last night, didn’t you?”

She nodded. “I did, and I probably should have been all along.”

It was my turn to put a comforting hand on her arm. “Mom, what happened?”

“The accident didn’t exactly bring out the best in either of us. I should have known better. We’ve been down this road before and it didn’t end well.”

I hesitated, not sure if I should ask. But it had been one of the defining moments of my childhood, and I didn’t know the answer. “Why did you and Dad split up?”

She stared into her tea for a long moment before answering. “I could say it was your dad’s job and how often he was away. How I felt like he prioritized his career over his family and how much I hated the fire department for being more important than me. And those things were true—or at least, they felt true at the time. But if I’m being honest, that wasn’t what broke us. We could have worked through the growing pains of a young marriage and a young career. We were working through them.”

“Then what broke you?”

“When Charles and Helena Bailey died.”

“Gavin’s parents?”

Mom nodded slowly. “I didn’t see it at the time, but in hindsight, yes. Charlie and Lena were our best friends. Your dad and Charlie grew up together, of course. When I met your dad, Charlie and Lena were dating, and the four of us became best friends. Inseparable, really. We double dated, went camping, took road trips. We were in each other’s weddings. I threw all of Lena’s baby showers and she threw mine when I was expecting you. They were family.

“When they died, it was so shocking. Traumatic, even. Your dad and I lost the people we were closest to, besides each other. Everyone grieves in their own way, but looking back, I think we grieved our way apart. We stopped doing so many of the things we loved because it hurt too much without Charlie and Lena. Your dad turned to work and his crew to get through the pain. I coped by throwing myself into work and motherhood. We were grieving the same thing, but we didn’t grieve together.

“Eventually, we weren’t communicating at all, except to argue. Little frustrations grew into big resentments. And none of it felt like things we could work through. But how can you work through anything when you aren’t really talking? When every time things get hard, you both retreat into your own world, instead of finding common ground? Pretty soon there is no common ground. It’s just a battlefield.”

“So you left.”

“I did. At first we said it was just a separation, but time went on and it didn’t seem like anything was going to change. I filed for divorce, but that was after we’d agreed to it.”

“When you moved back here, did you think something would happen with Dad?”

She took a slow, deep breath. “I probably wouldn’t have admitted it the day I blew in here with a moving truck. But yes, I did. Or maybe I just hoped.”

“You still love him, don’t you?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but the front door flew open and Dad came in. “Caroline?”