I was buzzing on adrenaline, ready to take them all on at once. They’d interrupted my bridge jump for no good reason, but I wanted to fight even more than I wanted to jump.

What we called the Arena was a clearing down a dirt road near Lake Tilikum. Stakes marked off the four corners of the ring and grass and weeds provided the only padding. The ground could do as much damage as an opponent out here.

We parked and I flew out of the truck, my hands clenched into fists. I stalked over to the ring and paced back and forth, waiting for them.

I didn’t want to think about the last time I’d been in the Arena. I’d gone up against Asher when he’d been in the middle of his post-prison meltdown. I’d been amped that day too, but it had been different. I’d been in control. Today I wasn’t, and I knew it.

But I didn’t fucking care.

Levi tossed me a pair of padded gloves. I would have bare-knuckled it, but gloves were always one of the rules. Gloves, no nut shots, and no knockouts. Even when we were out here because we were pissed as fuck, we weren’t trying to injure each other.

I’d always viewed the Arena like an ancient system of justice—trial by combat. The guy who was in the right would win. A voice in the back of my head tried to tell me that probably meant I was about to lose, but I brushed it off. What the fuck did it know, anyway.

I shoved on my gloves while my brothers stood along the side of the makeshift ring. I gave them a quick sweep, wondering who was getting in here with me. I expected Asher—he was the oldest. Seemed like an Asher thing to do. And maybe he wanted a rematch, since I’d beat him last time.

But Evan was putting a pair of gloves on his big hands.

Well, fuck.

Asher was dangerous as hell. He was a coach now, and still actively trained. But so did Evan. He didn’t compete, but he’d never stopped going to the gym. And I knew from experience how strong he was.

Fuck it. I’d taken him on before. I’d beat his ass now.

Evan stepped into the ring. “You need to calm the fuck down.”

That was all the warning I got. He lunged for me, going for a takedown, but I side-stepped just enough. Immediately going on the offensive, I surged in and locked up with him. He pulled down on the back of my neck, but I wasn’t giving him anything that easily. We pushed and pulled, testing each other’s strength and balance.

Moving fast, I dipped low and shot in, wrapping my arms around his waist. We hit the dirt with a thud. That was going to hurt later, but for now, all I felt was the adrenaline flowing through my veins. He grunted and spun, almost getting the reversal on me, but I managed to maintain control.

I hooked his arm and leg for a submission hold, but he was too fast. And my technique was shitty, but I wasn’t going to admit it. Normally, I rode the line between crazed and clear. Amped and calm. I could see things clearly, predict what I needed to do next.

Today I was just fucking flailing. I couldn’t focus.

My heart beat too fast. Evan flipped me onto my back and the air rushed from my lungs. I fought as hard as I could, but I was out of control. Any semblance of skill went right out the window. Two moves later, he had me twisted like a goddamn pretzel and I couldn’t breathe.

I held on, refusing to give up. Refusing to tap out. My chest burned from the lack of air and my vision started to go dark.

Fuck.

Growling in pain, I hit the ground with my free hand, tapping out.

Evan got off me, and I laid on my back with bent knees, staring up at the cloudy sky. Took a few shaky breaths. My brothers didn’t say anything. Evan didn’t gloat. He didn’t trash-talk or rub my face in the loss. He just waited, giving me a second to get my shit together.

After all, that was why they’d brought me out here in the first place.

I didn’t know what it was about getting my ass beat by my brother, but it did calm me down. My heart rate slowed and the frenzied storm in my head finally broke. It left me feeling hollow—my chest oddly empty. But I could finally slow down.

Evan reached out a hand. I took it and he helped me to my feet. Then he wrapped me in a hug.

I hugged him back, feeling a deep surge of emotion tighten my chest. I wasn’t going to cry, but I was pretty fucking close.

Evan stepped back and ruffled my hair like I was a little kid again. “Are you ready to tell us what’s really going on?”

I ripped the Velcro off one of my gloves. “I asked Skylar to marry me.”

Logan laughed and I shot him a glare. “Wait, you’re not kidding?”

“No, I’m not kidding.”

Levi eyed me. “You said you aren’t dating her.”

“I wasn’t dating her.”

“Then why did you propose?”

I took the other glove off and let them drop to the ground. “I pulled her out of that car and it made me realize I don’t want to lose her. Ever. I felt something right here.” I put my hand on my chest. “I don’t know what it was, but I had to make it stop. And the only thing I could think to do is make sure I can keep her.”

“Brosaster, you can’t just randomly propose to your fuck buddy.”

A flare of anger shot through me. “She’s not my—” I stopped, because he was right. “Okay, fine, she was basically my fuck buddy, but don’t talk about her like that.”

Logan put up his hands. “No disrespect.”

“I’m fucking in love with her, you guys. And she turned me down.”

“Holy shit,” Asher said, shaking his head slightly.

“What?”

“Something actually scared Gavin Bailey.”

“What? No it didn’t.”

“Of course it did,” Evan said. “Skylar’s accident scared the shit out of you.”

“No wonder you’ve been acting like a psycho,” Levi said.

I took a few steps backward. Deep down, I knew they were right. I was scared as hell. I’d never been scared of anything in my life, but the thought of losing her forever scared the fuck out of me.

“Gav, it’s normal to be scared,” Asher said. “But maybe proposing to her wasn’t the best way to cope with your fear.”

“Maybe I screwed this up a little bit.” I raked my hands through my hair. “I sort of forgot to lead with the fact that I’m in love with her.”

Logan winced. “So you just said hey, I think we should get married?”

“Basically.”

He whistled. “Not your finest performance, my brother.”

“She fucking called it, too,” I said. “She told me I was scared. And then like a fucking idiot, I threw it back in her face. I turned this into a flaming pile of burning garbage.”

“Yeah, you did,” Logan said.

I scowled at him. “Thanks.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t fix it.”

Asher’s phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket to answer. “Hi, Gram.”

She was calling about me. She had to be.

“Yep. No, he’s fine… I will… Okay, love you too.” He ended the call and met my eyes. “She wants you to come over.”

“Now?”

He nodded.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I groaned. I felt like I’d been caught doing something wrong and I had to face a scolding. “Fine. Can someone give me a ride back to my truck?”