My heart aches the more he touches me, but I don’t want him to stop. I never want him to stop even if I’m in pain.

Even if I bleed open.

It took me ten years to remember and I don’t even remember everything.

He’s been living with this pain for a decade.

He’s been seeing my face for two years and recalling what Ma did to him.

No wonder he looked at me like he hated me. No wonder he wanted to destroy me.

What Jonathan said makes sense now. My parents did kill Alicia, although indirectly.

She was on her way to search for Aiden after he was kidnapped, but she had an accident and never saw him again.

Aiden lost his mother.

And it’s all because of Ma and Dad.

My breathing deepens and it takes everything in me not to break down in tears.

How could I tell him I loved him yesterday? How could I say that to someone who suffered every time he saw my face?

What the hell is wrong with me?

I focus on the little drawings on my back. It’s like he’s repeating the same pattern over and over again.

Wait. Is that…?

Steel.

He’s writing and re-writing my last name on my back. Is that what he’s been writing all this time?

Tears rush to my eyes and I close them, biting my lower lip.

He releases me and I remain in place, slightly hiding my head in the sheets.

Aiden’s heat leaves my back. The mattress moves as he stands.

“Come on, sweetheart. Wake up,” his voice is wide awake as if he didn’t sleep the entire night — and maybe he didn’t.

I slowly peel my head from the sheets and turn to face him.

He’s smiling down at me with a warm spark. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. A thousand words and apologies fight to be set free, but I have nothing to say.

How could he wish me a happy birthday after everything?

Hell. Even I forgot that it’s my birthday.

“Meet me downstairs.”

He doesn’t wait before he walks out of the door.

I watch him with a crushing ache in my chest.

It’s too much.

This pain. This burn.

I place a hand over my scar and dig my nails into the flesh.

It hurts, dammit.

Why did it have to be like this?

After freshening up, I take the steps downstairs slowly as if I’m afraid something will jump me.

I find Aiden putting on his jacket. Upon seeing me, he yanks another Elites Jacket from the sofa and drapes it over my shoulders. The thing swallows me whole, but it smells like him. Clean and warm.

He pulls my band and ruffles my hair, letting it fall loose on either side of my shoulders.

“Hmm. My number looks good on you, sweetheart.” He tilts his head to the side. “But you know what will be better? If you wore it to watch one of my games.”

I stare at him, not knowing what to say. Is he pretending that everything is okay?

No idea how he does that. It must be because of his freedom and assertiveness.

For today, just today, I also want to be free, too. I want to pretend that everything is okay and I’m with Aiden despite the darkness from the past.

It’s my birthday after all.

I grin up at him. “I’m still not persuaded.”

“I’ll come up with something.” He interlaces his hand in mine. “Come on.”

He picks up a large food container and then we’re out of the house through the back door.

His hand is still wrapped around mine as we walk through the trees surrounding the house. It’s a forest, basically.

The entire way, I watch my smaller hand in his bigger one and I can’t help thinking how safe it feels to be with him.

Like in that basement.

Although it was dark and smelled awful, our breathing calmed down the moment we touched each other.

His face appears normal as if yesterday didn’t happen.

We come to a stop in front of a lake with a deck and a few old boats in sight.

My gaze bounces between him and the lake as if he brought me here to drown me.

Wait. Is that why he brought me here?

“W-what are we doing here?”

“Eating.” He tugs me down to sit at the foot of the tree and opens the food container.

I remain rooted in place, shivering. “I don’t like it here.”

He continues pulling toast and juice and loads of food that I have no idea when he had the time to put together.

“Let’s go back,” I plead, avoiding direct contact with the lake.

He motions at the food. “The faster you eat, the faster we go home and I’ll give you your birthday present.”

I finally rip my gaze from the lake to focus on him. “Why are you doing this?”

“This?” He passes me a toast with jam. “I only made you breakfast.”

I take the toast from him and sit carefully on the ground as if expecting it to shift and I’ll find myself inside the lake.

Aiden watches me as I take tentative bites from the toast. It’s hard to eat when there’s a demon in the form of a lake right in front of me.

Eli died in a place like this.

I lost my brother to the monster of the lake.

The need to throw up assaults me.

“Alicia used to read to me here,” Aiden chews on his eggs slowly.

“She did?” I ask.

“She liked it here. It was away from people and interruptions. We spent most of our time in this place.”

“Did Jonathan join you?”

“Sometimes. He doesn’t like being cut off from his business world.”

I swallow the bite of toast and study him closely. “What else did you do with Alicia here?”

“We had picnics and mostly read.” He grins. “Then we’d go for a swim.”

The toast nearly falls from between my hands when he abandons his eggs and stands to his full height.

In a few seconds, he strips, remaining in black boxer briefs.

My eyes widen, and it’s not only because of his sculpted physique.

Tendrils of fear grip me by the gut as he takes a step back in the direction of the deck.

Even the sky darkens. Gone is the sun from this morning. Huge clouds fill the distance.

“W-what are you doing?” I gawk at him.

“Going for a swim.”

“But it’s freezing!”

He grins in that lopsided way. “Fun, huh?”

“Aiden, don’t.” My voice shakes at the end.

“Do you want to join?” He winks.

“No way in hell.”

“Come on, you know you want to.”

I shake my head violently.

“As you wish.” He lifts a shoulder and before I can say anything, he turns around and takes a dive into the lake.

The toast drops from between my trembling fingers.

My muscles lock together every time he disappears under the water. I stop breathing and only take gulps of air when he resurfaces.

“Join me!” He grins, all wet and exotic and… alive.

He’s alive right now.

But what if the monsters of the lake come after him as they went after Eli? What if —

I shut that voice. “Come out, Aiden.”

He takes one dive after the other, swimming on his side and on his back.

The more he remains in the water, the harder I tremble. Sweat covers my brows and beads on my forehead.