A sob breaks from my chest. “He loved you and Cayden so much!” I pull them tight. “Never ever doubt that.”

No matter what Todd chose, I will never let them feel unloved. I wonder if he loved us so much that he couldn’t bear to witness us suffer. I think about the man he was, and how much we were the center of his world. Someone who loves that hard doesn’t choose to walk away that easily. As much as his choice destroyed things, it brought me here. It gave me my family, friends, and Zach. Todd may have broken a part of me, but he also healed a piece that was already damaged. I wish it never had to come to this.

Cayden begins to cry harder. “I don’t understand. If he loved us, how could he leave?” His voice trembles.

I think he knew once all his lies were exposed, he would’ve lost me in some way, so he let me go the only way he could. On his terms.

“Sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes we have to love that person and find comfort that he’s not suffering anymore.” I wipe the tears that fall. “He’ll always be in our hearts and our memories. That’ll never go away.”

My daddy enters the barn slowly and sinks next to me. “Do you remember what I told you boys about a daddy’s love?” They both look at their granddad and nod. “Remember I told you that the why doesn’t matter, it’s the forever?” He reaches his hand out and touches my face and then looks back at them. “Whatever your daddy’s reasons were don’t matter. What you need to remember is that he loves you forever. And he’ll live inside of you. He’s watchin’ over you, givin’ you love when you need to feel it. Like right now.”

The rest of my family comes around us.

“We all love you,” Mama says. “More than my own life.”

“But,” Logan says.

“No, son.” My father cuts him off. “There are no buts in this. He knew you boys needed the love of your family. He made sure your mama was taken care of. You may not understand it, but even from Heaven, your daddy’s lookin’ out for you. You’re hurtin’, but look around right now. You have all these people lovin’ on you.”

Cooper steps forward and drops to his knees. “No matter what happened, you’re not alone,” he says, looking at me and then the boys. “You don’t have to keep what you’re feeling inside. We’re here for you guys and your mama.”

A shattered cry falls from my lips as I break apart. I’ve held this in, letting it fester and rip my insides to shreds. I’ve let my own fears force me to suffer more than I had to. There’s no judgment in their eyes. Just unconditional love.

I look over at Zach. The man who’s been my everything for the last six months. The man who’s given me more love and compassion than anyone, yet I’ve kept things from him. I’ve possibly severed my relationship for a secret that’s seventeen years old.

“I love you,” I say to both Logan and Cayden. “I love you so much,” I say looking in Zach’s eyes.

He shakes his head and looks away.

Wyatt nudges him and tilts his head. They both stand and walk toward the door where we can’t hear them. His hand rests on Zach’s shoulder as Zach’s body slumps down. I want to call out to him, comfort him, but I don’t even know where we stand.

So much has been said.

So many hearts that need healing.

He looks over at me, nods his head, and walks out of view.

“Here,” Angie says as she hands me a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” I scoot over on the swing and she sits. “I really screwed up.”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “But then again maybe not.”

I glance over waiting for her to explain, because I don’t see how this could be good in any way. Angie sips her drink, oblivious to my waiting. “How?” I finally ask.

“You’re learning to ask for what you need. You’re not running. You’re fighting for your life, Pres. There are no more secrets now. You can finally be free.” She throws her arm around me, tugging me to her. “I know it’s scary, but Zach needed to know. The boys needed to know the truth. And if he doesn’t come around, that’s okay. You’re not living in the shadows.”

As awful as today was, there’s been so much healing and love. The boys are hurting, but they understand a lot more now. My parents and brother were instrumental in helping them. We all sat with them, talked, offered the strength they needed, and in the end, they were both a little calmer.

In no way are we all okay, but there’s no lack of support to help us through.

“What if I can’t get him back?”

“Well, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I was wrong,” I admit.

Angie will always be on my side, but I’m aware of how she feels about this. “I think you were really young and then really hurt. I’ve known you pretty much my entire adult life. You’re not a dishonest person, Pres. You’re a runner. You never had to face shit head first.”

My god, this is what they see me as? A weak woman who runs?

“Wait.” She sits up and looks at me. “Before you go all stupid in your head. I just mean that you had Zach as a kid. Then me and Todd. You had someone the whole time. Then Todd pulled the rug out from under you. And with that comes some scrapes and bruises.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

She rests her hand on my leg. “You’re not. You’re so much stronger than the woman I saw last. You stood your ground, apologized, and tried to make amends. I think you’ve come a long way, my friend.”

“I had no choice.” I release a heavy breath.

“No.” She stops. “You didn’t. And I think that Zach is different too. You both are. It was really unfair of me to think otherwise.”

Logan opens the door, and we both look over. “Mom.”

“You okay, baby?” I ask as I walk over.

“I like Zach.”

My lips press together into a small sad smile. “I do too.”

“I want to say I’m sorry to him.”

Hearing Logan say he wants to apologize to Zach makes me feel like, maybe, I haven’t screwed him up completely. “I’m sure he’ll come around again.”

He looks over toward the corral. “He makes us laugh. He’s really nice, and he makes you smile.”